The Father’s Love through a Mother’s Hands

I can truly imagine how this holiday feels for you

Not having that father around to celebrate today

My imaginations have walked a mile in your shoes

Having a childhood so fatherless also affected my Father’s Days

 

Although, a man was physically around…but not

I thought he successfully caused more harm than good

If I’d had a choice all the way back then

I would have erased the day I met him, If I could

 

Now, actually having grown from the experience

I’ve healed from the pains and regrets of the old days

Realizing he didn’t love himself enough to love me

The reason he could and would not change his abhorrent ways

 

I will always choose to dedicate my life and heart to you

Although your father chooses not to be in your life today

I can only proclaim these words to you and declare them as true

Because I dedicated my life to my real Father forever and always

 

He has taken me in and made His child brand new

He has shown a love unfathomable beyond the number of the sands

You may not understand how He has also adopted you into His arms

For now, you will know a portion of the Father’s love through a mother’s hands

 

Then…you will understand

 

 

written by Raquel E. Assanoua. Copyright 2014.

Dedicated to my beautiful daughters Brianna and Linda. I will love you as long as God gives me breath and beyond. However, His love for you is even greater.

Happy Father’s Day to the ones that truly are fathers and even the mothers that are also fathers.

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Maybe Today

Just maybe…

If you are reading this right now…maybe today is the first day of a new marriage for us. Just maybe, you finally came along. Maybe my wait is over. Maybe…

Before now, where have you been? Was this long wait on my part…or was it on your part? Does it matter. Were we not learning something we should have been learning. I think today, I learned that I had to stop running away from my feelings or stop creating a facade in an attempt to survive my emotions. I learned that after all the years of waiting, I should have been doing this all along. Writing you.

Well, Actually, I would start…but then I would tear out the pages of my journal or delete the files on my computer in frustration. Saying to myself, what is actually the point of this. Nothing is happening. No one is actually showing up. I am being haunted by my own imaginations. I was letting it all bring me down instead of it all giving me more hope to hold on. To hold on to the fact that you WILL show up one day. Once I show up for myself. When it’s the right day, the right time, the right way…and when I have the right mind most importantly. I’ve realized, I haven’t met you because I’m not in the right place within myself. However, I am in the right place today…the real today…the today in the moment you are actually reading this. It’s the beginning. The beginning of You and I. It means I took the time at some point from the past NOW that I’m writing this to the present NOW that you’re reading this to show up for myself…and I must say, I’m proud. It’s a prophecy. I can see it now. I can feel it now…in my now to show up for your now. It’s happening.

Everything happens for a reason…a season…and a lesson. I wouldn’t want to take back any of my experiences because, then maybe…just maybe, you wouldn’t have shown up for me today. To God be the glory that you finally showed up.

I love you. I’ve loved you before I knew you in my body…my physical body. But I have felt your spiritual connection all along. Thinking you were only around the corner. Thinking I will meet you any minute now. But, you kept not BEING here. In actuality, it was me I was waiting to meet. I was close by just within arms reach…actually within heart’s reach…but never reaching out…no, let me correct that…never reaching inside…to grab myself. You see, I couldn’t possibly love you until I loved me. My Father in heaven helped me discover that today.

We are one now. Dedicated to fulfill a purpose together. On one accord with each other to reach a destiny that is profound and unlimited because we are finally coming together.

I could never connect with you before. The failed attempts at writing you were because I was disconnected from me. I could never manifest my connection to you because I just couldn’t relate, being lost myself. I was lying to myself. I had to find me to find you. I had to get out of the way. God had to show me the way. Jesus had to show me the light.

I should have been doing this all along…writing you.

Because in this, I found you…You and I are finally one.

am you. . .

 

~Raquel E. Assanoua